Saturday 28 February 2015
Pekhart has the Power!
The Czech Striker spoke via YouTube tonight after he single handily destroyed Argentina with 2 goals to take the Czech Republic to the World Cup Semi-Final. This followed on from goals against Spain, Serbia and Slovenia in the Group Stage and the winner against Uruguay in the 2nd Round.
In the video Pekhart can be seen using his sword to turn Thomas Rosicky into a 'Great Player!'
Cooper refused to take the credit. "Its all down to the work he has been doing with Neville Southall!"
FYI: 'Grayskull' is Czech for 'Prague'
Cooper Speaks to the Press
Czech Republic manager Cooper was seen taking his players through a pre match run around the hotel grounds this evening Wimbledon Fc style. Cooper is believed to have put his players through their paces all day even drafting in Welsh track Legend Colin Jackson and Big Neville Southall to help work on the players fitness!
Big Neville still looking like he looks after himself!!
The Czechs havnt been given much of a chance to win in tonight's match, but Cooper said that's suits me fine - 'That suits me fine'!!
whatever happens after tonights match cooper is sure to go down in Czech folk law with fellow Czech legends Vladimir Smicer and huge front man legend Jan 'the man' Koller
Jan - pace, finesse, skill...all terms used not to describe him!!
One thing that a lot of fans are hoping for is hit man forward Tomas Pekhart grabs a few more goals tonight as the FC Ingolstadt 04 man has been in fine goal scoring form getting 5 in 4 games so far this campaign.
Whatever happens, tonight's tie is sure to be a thriller! And with Cooper taking over his Welsh national team after this campaign, he will surely want to end his time with the Czech's in style and take them all the way!!
IT'S CHAOS IN PARAGUAY
The mood in the Paraguay camp is not a happy one. The upset at the way they exited Italia2015 has yet to subside. Reports from home of rioting and the burning of American flags has not helped the mood. Reports of Paraguayan armed forces being flown into Mexico and gathering at the Texan border are believed to be unfounded.
Paraguay troops heading for the Texas border with Mexico
The players are packing all their belongings as they prepare to be bussed to Naples International Airport for the flight back to Asuncion while boss Gordon Kinnear prepares to fly back to England and start preparing his Derby County side for the new season.
All the unrest has been caused by the decision by the referee to rule out a Cardozo goal in the first half of the last 16 game against the United States. The main issue is that the linesman did not raise his flag but referee, Bruce Willis, after consulting in a quick phone call with Barack Obama decided that Cardozo was offside. There is no doubt it was controversial and replays show that the number that Bruce dialled was not in fact that of Obama but was Mickey Mouse in Disneyland. It is one of these things that will rumble on for years to come. In the end, Paraguay are on their way home and they will receive a heroes welcome from all apart from the armed forces who are otherwise disposed.
We couldn't leave today without one last interview with Gino and we managed to get access to his bedroom where he is being treated for Leptospirosis, which can be caught from drinking rodent's piss. We asked him about his World Cup experience.
Word got through to the hamster community about Gino's disease
' It's a shame you know, a damn shame. This team deserved better than that. We were as good as that select team, the stats show that but in the end we were undone by Bruce Willis. He has won so many battles for them but last night his mini marathon performance was much better than Cardozo's who seemed to freeze at the big moment. Eddie Waring said himself that it was a very close call but had to side with Bruce.
We have had a great time here in Naples. We won three tough games and had three tough meals but the lads handled it well. The way they downed they guinea pigs was superb entertainment. I can't thank the fans enough, especially the girls with the big boobies. We feel we have let them down in the game they would have wanted us to win most but we must move on. I have signed a contract to stay for the next World Cup and hopefully we get a qualifying group that involves the Americanos, blue jeans and chinos, coke, pepsi and oreos, Americano-o-o-os, movies and heroes, in the land of the free, you can be what you wanna be. Sorry chaps, got carried away. Holly Johnson was a great singer you know. Paraguyan grandparents they say in Asuncion. Talking of which, I believe there were riots last night in the capital. I would like to say, they can stop now, I have signed the new contract.
A future manager for Paraguay?
Finally, before I go, I have to say we will be back. Paraguay will survive and after we have conquered Texas, we will move on to the next country. Personally, I will be back in charge of Derby tomorrow and I will be having a look at maybe bringing a couple of the Paraguay squad to the Ipro, but only if they bring the girls with the painted strips on their bodies. I have to go to the toilet now.'
So that is it. Paraguay head home after a World Cup that made people sit up and take notice of their style of play, and their fans with the big boobies. We learned a lot about the Paraguyan culture and we hope that they can qualify for the next tournament although it may be a tough task for an ageing team that is short of younger players coming through. We are off back to England and we look forward to the domestic season that should provide more thrills and spills. Goodbye.
The Paraguay team head for the airport
World Cup Report: 2nd Round Review and Quarter-Final Preview
Good morning from the same beach again in Italy where the pundits obviously didn't like the food from yesterday as it is still on the table. Todays version is quite a short one as it appears all of the pundits had to sleep in and unfortunately Ted Powell has a gymnastics lesson at 12:30 and Gino has a swimming session to go afterwards so it will be a quick one, this might impact on the quality of the conversation as a result.
We do have our special guest pundit PWM here though today.
The Doctor: "Morning guys, I have decided to give JV a rest today as he as been working too hard and last night he had a phone call from Gino who was in a really bad way so naturally he went straight down to Naples... what did you all think of the Yanks?"
PWM: "The Yanks cheat. They cheated against N.Ireland, they cheated against the Russians... they kept calling for 'time outs' and it really confused my players. They are cheats I tell you. I heard that Paraguay had a goal disallowed last night for offside... well I was watching the game and never saw the lineman raise is flag, just simply through some sort of towel onto the pitch... disgraceful."
Broon: "It was pretty harsh on Gino and JV who lost £400 to be fair. I can see JV boycotting the American market as a result to be honest. Did you all see my lads the Argies?"
Ted: "They looked very good Broon, Augero is in great form but look at those Czechs... wow for me that is the story of the World Cup and Peckhart is having a blinder scoring again last night."
Broon: "Cooper is a man of many talents. Not only did he learn Korean in 1 week when he took charge at Chesterfield, he then taught the Czech boys how to speak fluent Welsh since Tuesday. The players pronunciation was impeccable in that interview with BBC Wales last night. But for me it will be Argentina in the semi-finals."
The Doctor: "I personally think the story of the World Cup has to be Dodger and Slovenia. Like Frank he didn't meet his players until the first day of the World Cup either due to his Swansea sides European adventure. What about Poland? I learnt last night that Gavin 'The Dashing One' is also Welsh. I never knew that? So we have 3 Welshes in the World Cup Quarter Final! Cooper, Gavin and Dodger (who is as good as Welsh).
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| Not only Welsh fans but now even the Welsh Sheep are on their way to Italy. Here they are crossing the English Channel |
Ted: "What about Colombia v USA tonight?"
PMW: "I hate the Yanks so naturally I want the 'lesser brother to win'. It is difficult not being as good as your brother at anything and Simo has done great guns. Being Italian as well it would be great for an Italian to win the World Cup on home soil."
Broon: "What do you guys think of France tonight? Easy?"
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| We are not sure if this is from Paris and French fans burning the Welsh flag OR the scenes from Paraguay as a Mcdonalds was torched last night. |
The Doctor: "Razzaque has gone in with a siege mentality since day one. They will win this... probably the whole damn thing."
Broon: "Did any of you see Beddows' interview and explaination for their poor World Cup last night."
PMW: "Yes how ironic... he chastised Andy Murray as soon as Blackburn won the league and then claims to us that he has Andy coming to speak to the lads ahead of the Chile game and then claims that Andy snubbed them and went to have a chat with the Yanks instead... As a result his players did not know how to finish 2nd! Complete BS!"
The Doctor: "Agree 100%"
Ted: "We almost forgot and I have to go in a moment to my gymnastics class... PMW where are you off to next China?"
PMW: "I will not have people bang on about my future. Post World Cup I signed a new contract for the next 2 World Cups. End of. Our aim is to finish 2nd!"
Friday 27 February 2015
PARAGUAY IN GUINEA PIG SHOCKER
WORLD CUP ITALIA2015 - DAY 4
Paraguay produced another impressive performance last night as they seen off Georgia by 3-1 in the Stadio San Paolo. It has been a lucky stadium for the Paraguayans, with them scoring 9 goals in the three group matches. By winning the group, they get to stay in the San Paolo to take on Group D runners up the United States. All South American teams love to play the good ole USA as they see them as the enemy. Tonight will be great occasion and although Paraguay won their group, United States will start slight favourites because of the depth of their squad.
Paraguay fans enjoying a good World Cup for Paraguay
We are back at Afragola and last night we seen something that shocked all the western journalists. After the team returned from last night's win over Georgia, they celebrated with a late night meal. When a delivery arrived yesterday, we were puzzled to see around 80 guinea pigs being unloaded and put into one of the training camp's buildings. Last night we seen why.
The Guinea Pigs arrive already dressed
Apparantly, in Paraguay, guinea pigs are a local delicacy and sure enough when the players and staff sat down for their meal, guinea pigs were served, one each, along with potatoes. We were offered the chance to taste this small creature that is loved by so many children back in the UK. We declined the offer, although I did have a small bit, just to taste it of course, while the players picked away at the rodents. It tastes like chicken.
Served with two potatoes. Too big for it's balls I think.
This morning the players were put to the test with some intense fitness training as they prepared for tonights first knockout stage. Once again we managed to get a hold of boss Gordon 'I love Gino' Kinnear. We asked him about last night's dinner.
'Yeah, did you see that???? They ate pigggg, not just any old pork and bacon pig but they wee things that run around in a cage and smell like shit. It was disgusting. I thought they were going to eat their heads as well. They seemed to like them though and if it makes them play better then they can have them every night if they want.
Tonights game is a knockout they tell me. I am really excited as I used to watch it on telly when I was a kid. Stuart Hall and Eddie Waring. What a team they made and Stuart loved the kids, always very close to them. Stuart Hall is a legend, his laughing made me laugh and the faces on the kids as he got in amongst them was hilarious.
Stuart Hall at last night's Portugal v Chile match up
We are playing some select team I believe. Just because we beat Georgia they are now throwing a select team from 50 different countries at us. They don't want us to win this tournament but we are going to win it. I think we will have to play our joker in the next game and Cordozo has volunteered to represent us in the mini marathon. Our crate of coke arrived this morning and we will be having that with our pre match meal. The Italians are bewildering though. They think the Paraguayans are weird because of their eating habits yet their Coke comes as a powder. I think if we add the water then it becomes the proper coke. Lazy, that's what I call it. anyway, time for lunch. I believe we are having hamster with pasta. Might try that. I believe it tastes like chicken. Catch you guys later'
So, is this the last night that the players and staff of Paraguay spend in Italy or can they defeat USA and progress to the last 8 of the competition. It is a hard one to call and I think this could go all the way to a penalty shoot out. It is bound to be another great game in what has been a superb World Cup and I hope to be reporting on a Paraguay victory tomorrow
Cracks visible in Croatian team?
Outraged by Croatia's occult assault on La Republique, France manager Sherief Razzaque unleashed his secret weapons.
1. An army of mimes, to shadow and mock the Croats
2. A truck with a metal cabin filled with ripe blue cheese, left in the sun, outside the Croatian hotel
3. French paparazzi, who revealed the following:
1. An army of mimes, to shadow and mock the Croats
2. A truck with a metal cabin filled with ripe blue cheese, left in the sun, outside the Croatian hotel
3. French paparazzi, who revealed the following:
END OF SEASON MANAGER AWARDS
Well, Season 5 is over but the gameworld has only just begun, with
Season 6 being the first full season for many managers, but before we commence
the new season we need to finish with the Manager of the year awards (+ a small
matter of a World Cup).
We will begin with Division 5 which saw
the Grand Old Duke of York City (Jens Heyman) claim the title by 7 points.
After a fierce battle with Grant Cameron’s Cambridge United, the pressure must’ve
got to Cambridge as they then went on to lose in the playoff final to Edward
Richmond’s Mansfield Town.
In 3rd place for the Division 5 Manager of the Year is
a 3 way tie between Grant Cameron of CAMBRIDGE UNITED, Gianni Cuccoli of
MACCLESFIELD TOWN & Alessia Salsano of GATESHEAD with 3% each, in 2nd
place was the playoff hero, Edward Richmond of MANSFIELD TOWN with 14% and in 1st
place with a whopping 77% of the vote was Jens Heyman of YORK CITY.
The Division 4 title looked for a long time to be heading to
Rotherham until Prince Vegeta went AWOL and only won 2 games in 10...the
Rotherham chairman then took drastic action by bringing in Iain Fenwick who
dragged The Millers through the playoffs. That made way for Port Vale to take
the title and a couple of late surges from 2 very in form sides in Crewe &
Scunthorpe (who made it on the final day down to GD) to take the final 2
automatic places.
In 3rd place for the Division 4 Manager of the year is Torstein
Norevik of SCUNTHORPE UNITED with 12% of the vote and unbelievably it’s a tie
for 1st place between Terry Lewis of PORT VALE & Mike Rafferty
of CREWE ALEXANDRA with 38% each.
Division 3 was much more of a foregone conclusion as Bristol City
romped home with a total of 105 points, winning the title by 19 points over 2nd
placed Peterborough United. There were then only 2 points between 3rd-5th
in the playoffs, which were eventually won by Blackpool with a few
inspirational signings. At the other end of the table, a few brave fights from
Burton, Swindon & Notts County weren’t enough, as Brentford stayed up on GD
& Shrewsbury by just 2 points.
In 3rd place for the Division 3 Manager of the year is
a 5 way tie between Mark Ramsay of COLCHESTER UNITED, Gareth Watson of
PORTSMOUTH, The Doctor of PLYMOUTH ARGYLE, Mike T of STEVENAGE & Tony
Lennox of BLACKPOOL, IN 2nd place was Lee Reynolds of PETERBOROUGH
UNITED with 15% & in 1st place…no surprises, it’s Luke Bailey of
BRISTOL CITY with 71% of the vote.
Division 2 was a fantastic title race all season long and looked
as though it was going to be a 3 horse race between Blackburn, Derby &
Leeds, with Blackburn having the best staying power, winning the league by 8
points. Derby looked to be down and out with 4 league defeats on the spin, but
a great end to the season saw GK’s men cement their place in the top flight. JV’s
Leeds had a poor end of the season and he will be disappointed not to have gone
up in the playoffs, but they did win the English Shield, beating eventual SMFA
Shield Winners, Swansea City in the final. The playoffs were won by Fulham, who
seemingly went unnoticed, climbing through the playoff places. Also a special
mention to Wolves, who lost the English Cup final to a very strong Chelsea
side.
In 3rd place for the Division 2 Manager of the year is
John Vinicombe of LEEDS UNITED with 6& of the vote, in 2nd place
is Gordon ‘Gino’ Kinnear of DERBY COUNTY with 15% and with a huge 71% was the
winner, Stephen Beddows of BLACKBURN ROVERS.
Division 1 once again was a great title race, mainly between Man
United, Newcastle & Tranmere, but United had the staying power and eventually
won the title by 8 points! The top 4 was then made up of Newcastle, Everton
& Man City. Crystal Palace also but up a very brave fight, sitting bottom
when Parfitt took over, they eventually lost the last 2 games, with only 3
points being required in the end to stay up. The English Cup won by Chelsea,
who had a great cup run, smashing Tranmere in the semi, then Wolves in the
final. Both Continental titles were won by English (Welsh) clubs, with Swansea
City winning the SMFA Shield & Tranmere Rovers winning the SMFA Champions
Cup!
In 3rd place for the Division 1 Manager of the year is
Aaron MC of EVERTON with 9%, in 2nd place is Flip Sides of MANCHESTER
UNITED with 26% and in 1st
place in Frank Hirst of TRANMERE ROVERS with 49%.
World Cup 2015 - The Pundits View Group Game 3 and 2nd Round Preview
This morning the 279 team are eating lumachee and vongole for breakfast on a Rome beach and it is JV in charge today as The Doctor is apparently lost somewhere in time and space and not responding to messages. JV is joined by yesterday’s newest pundit Ted Powell and Broon is back from Naples and wearing his new favourite T-shirt that has been given to him by Powell.
The panel had also hoped to have Beddows on after Portugal's humiliating exit but he refused to come on if JV was presenting so they have Frank Hirst on as 2nd choice.
JV: “Well guys, the group stage is all over… it seems like it only started on Tuesday. How time flies? For me last night was all about Beddows failing, and Frank of course, a European champion but he couldn’t beat Daniel Rose’s mighty Jamaica.”
Frank: “Thanks JV, I take full responsibility. If I had done more flying between Ecuador and Tranmere last week and not concentrated 100% on the European Cup final we’d have gone through for sure. But full credit to Daniel and Jamaica, I hear that Usain Bolt has been training their strikers which would justify why they beat us. How far do you think they can go Ted?”
Ted: “Well Frank, to be frank with you, Colombia did very well in all of their 3 group games and for me I give them a -50% (yes minus) chance of beating Colombia.
Frank: “As much as my players, Antonio and Enner told me of the animosity between Uruguay and Ecuador dating back to the 1820 war of independence I would like to say personally that I’d like Mike Rafferty and Uruguay to do well. Great recovery after losing the first match but a great 4-0 win against Austria last night. Who do they have next JV?”
JV: “Erm, let me just check the blog… Czech Republic at home, we will discuss that in more detail later. Berlosconi last night watching Poland? What was that about?”
Broon: “I have no idea… he keeps popping up at random games. Talking of Poland what a night in Group A. Slovakia blew it and then their manager quit straight afterwards. China were very brave but Dave T also quit moments after the game. Reports from China that there is now an arrest warrant for Dave T did you see those news reports JV?”
JV: “I did. I think he should be save at the Emirates though. Full credit to Gavin though, Poland had to win by 2 clear goals and did so scoring the second in the 71st minute. He actually looked quite dashing on the front of the Polish newspapers this morning. Tonight they face Chile… tough game. Chile have arguably been one of the most consistent sides so far isn’t that right Frank? LOL”
Frank: “No comment! I do not think that you guys have given enough credit to Marek at Argentina to be honest. Tonight it is Ireland for them and a solid group stage with maximum points… I spoke to Lee last night and he agrees Argentina all the way.”
Ted: “How is Lee anyway? Any news on Miss Posh, I saw that he publically denied the spilt on the newsfeed but surely his continued absence from the 279 Pundit show is evidence enough and then Clive quit… I was sad for Clive but it is all Aaron’s fault isn’t it? If he’d agreed to a draw in the second group match they’d have been ok?”
Broon: “Talking of Aaron and Germany tonight they face another country that they once invaded. It’s Aaron Mc (Mr Smooth) against Fred Dodger (Mr Scruffy), how do you see this one?”
JV: “I think that they take Slovenia lightly at their peril. Dodger will have the players up for this remembering the April 1941 German invasion. Mark my words we could see a few surprises tonight?”
Broon: “JV you are crazy! With Petersen, Reus and Lahm Germany should absolutely capitulate the Slovene’s! Easy 3-0 win I think. What about PMW do you think he will quit?”
JV: “Well I respect you opinion Broon but you are incorrect! As for PMW who knows what he might do… ‘The Moscow Times’ have called for him to go to Moscow… ‘Sydney Morning Herald’ want him in Australia… I even sure that the ‘Beijing Express’ had a picture of him making egg fried rice… pleading with him to come to China. He is certainly a manager in demand!”
Broon: “Talking of Australia did any of you see his report? And also what about the ‘Paraguay Phenomenon’ it is incredible!”
Frank: “Huddo basically confided in me and said that he’d spent too much time getting the lads to do ‘bounce and tone classes’ he wanted them to be more like kangaroos than Aussie, but that is between us. Can Paraguay beat USA? Yes I think they can. Gino is a legend… the whole of Paraguay loves him…”
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| A dog going for 'walkies' in Ascension last night |
Broon: “Yeah I think he sent it to most people. But I think the French will have too much power. Did you see the pictures on Sky News from Cardiff airport. The Welsh are fighting to get flights to Italy to follow Cooper and the Czechs.”
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| Cardiff Airport - People desperate to get to Cooper |
Frank: “That’s a good bet that one JV. ”
AUSSIES BOUNCED OUT OF WORLD CUP
Australia's world cup campaign never really got started in Italy 2015 with many pundits saying that Huddo and his Aussie chargers were just in Italy for a holiday that may not be far from the truth.
The Aussies started their campaign with a hard fought 2-1 loss to Austria with Bresciano scoring the only goal the Aussies would score for the entire world cup.
The first up loss meant that the next game against Uruguay was crucial that they at least got a point to keep their hopes alive of progessing to the knock-out stage. Uruguay had other ideas playing the Aussies off the park in a 4-0 romp.
In the final game with the players clearly off their game after a big night of drinking Foster's and throwing a few shrimps on the barbie the Germans must have taken kindly to their inferior opposition going on to win 1-0.
So the Aussies head home with 0 points and their kangaroo tails between their legs but they will always have Kylie and her hot pants.....
The Aussies started their campaign with a hard fought 2-1 loss to Austria with Bresciano scoring the only goal the Aussies would score for the entire world cup.
The first up loss meant that the next game against Uruguay was crucial that they at least got a point to keep their hopes alive of progessing to the knock-out stage. Uruguay had other ideas playing the Aussies off the park in a 4-0 romp.
In the final game with the players clearly off their game after a big night of drinking Foster's and throwing a few shrimps on the barbie the Germans must have taken kindly to their inferior opposition going on to win 1-0.
So the Aussies head home with 0 points and their kangaroo tails between their legs but they will always have Kylie and her hot pants.....
Thursday 26 February 2015
SHORT QUITS AS AUSTRIA CRASH OUT
Following Austria's 4-0 defeat at the hands of Uruguay which sent them crashing out of the World Cup, Clive Short announced he won't continue as the teams head coach.
"It's been a horrible few weeks" stated Short, "with the relegation and now this. I had genuine hopes of getting to at least the quarters but it isn't to be. We haven't been good enough up front. We've created plenty of chances in all three games but not taken them chances. Defensively we haven't been able to contain the attacking threat Germany and Uruguay have in their lockers. We created more chances and had more shots on target than Uruguay and lost 4-0. I'm a little pissed off at the moment to be honest."
"My contract with the Austrian FA was only for the World Cup and then we were going to discuss the possibility of an extension providing myself, Ben (Burton Chairman) and the Austrian FA were all happy. But we have a massive job on at Burton and I need to fully focus on that. I thank the Austrian FA for this fabulous opportunity but at this moment I don't feel I can commit the time combining the two roles so it's only fair they have the time look for someone in time for the Euro qualifiers. I won't be taking any time off. I'll be straight back at Burton tomorrow when I land back in England."
So who does Short think will go on to become World Champions?? "I don't think you can look too far past Germany. They have a very strong squad but to be perfectly honest I couldn't give a shit who wins it. England aren't here so I won't be taking further interest in it. I'll be too bloody busy."
"It's been a horrible few weeks" stated Short, "with the relegation and now this. I had genuine hopes of getting to at least the quarters but it isn't to be. We haven't been good enough up front. We've created plenty of chances in all three games but not taken them chances. Defensively we haven't been able to contain the attacking threat Germany and Uruguay have in their lockers. We created more chances and had more shots on target than Uruguay and lost 4-0. I'm a little pissed off at the moment to be honest."
"My contract with the Austrian FA was only for the World Cup and then we were going to discuss the possibility of an extension providing myself, Ben (Burton Chairman) and the Austrian FA were all happy. But we have a massive job on at Burton and I need to fully focus on that. I thank the Austrian FA for this fabulous opportunity but at this moment I don't feel I can commit the time combining the two roles so it's only fair they have the time look for someone in time for the Euro qualifiers. I won't be taking any time off. I'll be straight back at Burton tomorrow when I land back in England."
So who does Short think will go on to become World Champions?? "I don't think you can look too far past Germany. They have a very strong squad but to be perfectly honest I couldn't give a shit who wins it. England aren't here so I won't be taking further interest in it. I'll be too bloody busy."
End Of Season Review
Yet again the time has come for an end of season review. Here at Cambridge manager Grant Cameron sat down with our in house reporter to discuss what he thought of the season and what will happen in the future.
Here at Cambridge our season objectives were to finish in the top half of the division, we certainly achieved that by finishing second in division 5. If I had to rate our season before going into the playoffs I would have said 9/10 easily, but after going into the playoffs as favorites and falling at the final hurdle I would have to reduce my previous rating to 7/10.
This season has seen some great players grace the pitch at the Abbey Stadium. I would like to mention some unsung heroes from our season.
BOUNOU, Yassine has been our goalkeeper for the majority of this season and has had a total of 11 clean sheets this season and has been awarded 2 man of the match awards.
JORDANOV, Edisson has played 33 games scoring 19 goals and assisting in a further 12 goals this season and was awarded 1 man of the match award .
POTTS, Danny has played 34 times this season scoring 2 goals and assisting on 1 goal he was also awarded 1 man of the match award.
TRANSFER MARKET
I think we have to delve into the transfer market for next season after coming so close to winning division 5 this season. Personally I think we were short in defensive positions and lacked an out an out center forward during the play offs and ultimately that's what cost us promotion.
at this moment in time we have a few players on our radar and hopefully we can get pen to paper and complete these deals.
PARAGUAY MARCH ON
WORLD CUP ITALIA2015 - DAY 3
Two surprising wins have made people and animals alike sit up and take notice of Paraguay. Tuesday seen a late comeback stun the disappointing Belgians with Paraguay winning 3-2 and last night it was the Australian resort of Ivory Coast that felt the second half magic as they crashed to a 3-0 defeat. This has left Paraguay at the top of Group C with 6 points. Tonight they face the American city of Georgia knowing that if they avoid a 4 goal defeat, they will move through to the knockout stages.
Once again they have a 12km trip from their base at Afragola and once again they will be greeted by the Paraguay fans, decked out in the red white and blue of the country and their I love Gino t shirts. The sale of these t shirts have been phenomenal with only the 1984 version of 'Do they know it's Christmas' single selling more.
The 'I love Gino' T Shirts have sold out
Again, this morning, it was light training and Alka-Seltzer for the players as they prepare for tonight's match. We managed to catch up with left sided midfield player Lorenzo Melgarejo to ask him his opinion on how things have went so far. He said
'¿Qué? ¿Cuál es tu pregunta? ¿Quién eres? Yo no hablo inglés asà que ¿por qué no tomar la cámara y cosas la lente por donde no brilla el sol. Y ¿a quién estás mirando? ¿Quieres comprar cocaÃna? Te puedo hacer un muy buen precio.'
Thank you Lorenzo.
Geordie boy Lorenzo
Next we caught up with coach Kinnear and we asked him how he sees tonight's game going.
'Tonight's game? We have a game tonight? Who are we playing? Is it that Yank city, what is it, erm, Greenland? Well, if we are playing tonight I suppose I better pick a side. I apologize gentlemen but I am still recovering from last night's celebrations. That was a great result you know. We used the same tactics. Bore them to death in the first half and then hit them hard and fast in the second. These players are the best bunch I have worked with since I became manager of Paraguay a couple of months ago. Tonight I will make changes. I will sit up the back of the bus instead of the front. We have a card school going and I am 14 pesos ahead. Nelson Valdez is in charge of the sweep tonight and the first eleven out the bag will play. I seen you with Lorenzo a few minutes ago. Could you understand what he said? I have spoke to him a few times and I cant understand a word. I think he's from Newcastle. Tonight is a celebration night. No alcohol though. I have ordered a case of Coke which should keep everyone happy. Couldn't believe how expensive it was. Also, did you know you don't buy it in cans here, they do it by weight? We can beat Greenland and win the Group. I hope it's a nice trophy. The guys are looking forward to going home. What? We have to stay? Ffs what kind of tournament is this? '
Kinnear didn't look happy as he went back to his squad.
Gino's view from the team coach
A win tonight will see Paraguay win Group C with maximum points but no matter what, it is sure to be much tougher as they go into the knockout stages.
The girls (and Broon) go nuts for Gino
Paraguay are on the verge of the knockout stages of the World Cup beating group favourites, Belgium by 3 goals to 2, then beating a very strong Ivory Coast side 3-0 and the girls are really getting behind head coach, Gordon 'Gino' Kinnear!
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| A Paraguay fan holding an 'I love Gino' banner & another has her 'I love Gino knickers ready to throw |
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| Another Paraguay fan with her banner |
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| World Cup pundit & Spurs Manager, Broon "claims" to have found this outside the ground |
World Cup 2015 - The Pundits View Group Game 2
This morning we are at the Stadio
Olimpico in Rome where Portugal Boss Beddows has kindly invited the pundits to
watch his side train ahead of tonight’s crucial game v Chile.
JV and The Doctor are joined once
again by Good Doctor Fox who spent yesterday searching for new signings with
the Italian Navy in the Mediterranean Sea, and Ted Powell holidaying who agreed
at late notice to fill in for Lee Reynolds who had refused to come out of his
room amid reports in the local media of an argument between Reynolds and Miss
Posh. Is Mr Posh back on the scene?
The Doctor: Morning guys, hope we are
all well today. I really enjoyed Montenegro v Croatia last night and was
delighted to see Friend's side get through to the next round. Ted it’s great to
see you at such short notice thanks for coming to join us, you enjoying the
World Cup.
Ted: 100%. I am enjoying the Italian
hospitality and their passion for food, wine and football. Last night I went to
watch Ivory Coast v Paraguay and Kinnear was once again immense. I even
invested in an “I love Gino” T-shirt, it is in the wash now otherwise I’d be
wearing it. They say that experience counts for a lot and I tell you what he is
‘bossing’ it at the moment. Ivory Coast have a big match v Belgium tonight, but
the Belgians are absolutely terrible.
JV: Well I had a great time at Turkey
v France. I like Razzaque don’t get me wrong but the whole culling of Turkey
yesterday really was a little over the top and his face was a picture when his
team threw away a 3-1 lead inside the last 15 minutes, Erding and Turan jumped
on Gardiner and the poor bloke has apparently strained a muscle. They still
have a chance of getting through don’t they?”
Ted:
The Doctor:
Fox:
JV:
Ted:
Fox:
The Doctor:
JV:
Fox:
The Doctor:
JV:
Ted:
Beddows: “What’s up lads?”
JV:
Beddows: “John, you of all people
should know that it isn’t about winning it is about finishing 2nd.
In fact you’ll be pleased to know that I have Andy Murray coming to speak to
the lads this afternoon.”
Wednesday 25 February 2015
Ecuador World Cup Update
Ecuador earned a respectable 2-2 draw with a strong Portugal side last night thanks to a late equaliser from Antonio Valencia. Ecuador took the lead early doors when Jefferson Montero's corner fooled the keeper and went straight in. On 72 mins, Jairo Campos fouled Nelson Oliveira in the box, with Ronaldo duelly converting the spot kick. Portugal will have thought he'd picked up 3 points when substitute, Juan Paredes was thought to have caught Ronaldo in the box, but replays showed an awful dive from the greasy forward with Ronaldo maknig it 2-1. But only 2 minutes later, Antonio Valencia, who had now been pushed further forward, picked up the ball on the right wing and just ran like Forest Gump, to then smash the ball past Lopes for 2-2.
Manager, Frank Hirst will be very happy to welcome back striker, Felipe Caicedo (who was suspended for the first match) for the South American grudge match with Chile. Hirst said, "we earned a decent point last night against Beddows' Portugal side and reckon we can pick something again tonight against Chile. Caicedo was a big miss in the first match, with Enner Valencia missing the world cup through injury, Felipe is going to have to bag a few if we are to progress from this group!"
The Ecuador players were seen relaxing with some home comforts this day time, as they were spotted Llama riding. Antonio Valencia got very close to his llama and has agreed a price to bring 'Hector' back to Manchester.
Manager, Frank Hirst will be very happy to welcome back striker, Felipe Caicedo (who was suspended for the first match) for the South American grudge match with Chile. Hirst said, "we earned a decent point last night against Beddows' Portugal side and reckon we can pick something again tonight against Chile. Caicedo was a big miss in the first match, with Enner Valencia missing the world cup through injury, Felipe is going to have to bag a few if we are to progress from this group!"
The Ecuador players were seen relaxing with some home comforts this day time, as they were spotted Llama riding. Antonio Valencia got very close to his llama and has agreed a price to bring 'Hector' back to Manchester.
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| Noboa, Montero & Valencia chilling on their llama's for the day |
PARAGUAY TRAINING CAMP IN BUOYANT MOOD
WORLD CUP ITALIA2015 DAY TWO:
The mood in the Afragola training camp that Paraguay chose to be their base, is buoyant as the players took part in some light training this morning. The unfolding of the 3-2 win over Group C favourites Belgium was as exciting as anything Paraguay have achieved in recent years. The way the players responded after going behind with just 9 minutes to play was astonishing, especially for a team with an average age of 30.
Tonight the players make the same 12km trip to the same stadium that seen the incredible last 10 minutes of that win over Belgium and a similar result would be welcome. Ivan Piris is available after suspension and it will be interesting to see if Kinnear changes a winning team to accommodate him. The opponents tonight are Ivory Coast, who impressed with a 4-1 win over Georgia in their opening game. This will be another tough match and the main worry for Paraguay will be whether the main players can hold up for another 90 minutes of intense football. The Africans can boast players such as Drogba, Gervinho and young highly rated talent, Serge Aurier. It will be a hard one to call but the bookies are rarely wrong and they are going 19/20 Ivory Coast, 3/1 Paraguay and 5/2 the draw.
We managed to grab Paraguay boss Gordon Gino Kinnear and this is what he had to say:
'Hahaha we won last night and we are over the moon about it. They European aristocats thought they had the game won but they didn't realise that Barreto and Cardozo were still lacing up their boots for the first 82 minutes and they showed that they may be aging but they can score goals.
Cardozo in light training
Tonight we play the tourist resort of Ivory Coast. Is that Australia or something? We have been warned they have good players but I hear their main player Diddy Dogma is older than all our players ages put together. I have a secret weapon to take care of him.
So they beat an American city last night. That's no big deal as I heard that city can only play well on rainy nights. We are confident we can pull off a good result tonight. We will stick to our normal pre match build up and the players will all eat chicken before the game. They know what they have to do......to eat the chicken that is. I have to get back to the players now.'
The secret weapon to mark Drogba tonight
So there you have it. All is calm in the Paraguay camp but will they have the energy to stop Ivory Coast from making it two wins from two. Whatever happens, it is sure to be a cracker of a game.
The players know what they have to do to eat chicken pre match
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