279 Saturday Show - Episode 2

The Doctor: “Welcome everyone to the second ‘279 Saturday Show’ the show for the 279 Managers to discuss 279, the Super Seven and all things SM. I am your host The Doctor and today we have regular WC pundit Frank (Tranmere) and two special guests making there 279 debuts, Roy Cubby Brown (Lincoln) and Clive Short (Burton) Welcome guys.

Roy: “Thanks Doc, pleasure to be here… I must admit I couldn’t help but notice those pies there. Are they all for me?

The Doctor: “Help yourself Roy, don’t eat them all though.

Clive: “Yes, but save one for me!”

Frank: “Welcome to you too Clive, I like how you are following my ‘hat trend.’ Beddows and Blackburn a terrible start – You tipped them to go down according to my ‘black book’ is this something to do with your spat with Beddows dating back to last season?”

Clive: “To be frank with you Frank my 6 year old lad does my tips. I’ve promised him a trip window shopping at Toys ‘R’ us if we win”

Roy: “These are nice pies lads, you know I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian !! Oh wait better to keep one for Reg, you know the Kidderminister manager. Reg Robinson likes his pies you know?”

Clive: “Doctor, Denis Suarez is still suspended after his malicious and spiteful elbow in the opening game and he was surely missed in your cup defeat do you have a plan for the next 2 games?”

The Doctor: “Its like I always say “do what I do, hold tight and pretend it’s a plan. Haha… No seriously of course I have a plan, I’m a timelord! I’ve seen many ways this season can branch off, its like the butterfly effect, I actually told Suarez to elbow the lad, it is imperative that he does not play those 3 games if we are to win the league… Sorry I’ve said too much!”

Frank: “Roy, Reg is a good friend of mine and I don’t take kindly to bullys! What makes you think you can cut it as a ‘football manager’?”

Roy: “I got the brains, the beauty, the knowledge and the BIGGEST dick ermmm I mean player shortlist in the world. There are over 2000 players on dem shortlists like… and why can I not fulfil my dreams in Lincoln? A beautiful city situated close to two of my favourite jaunts Cleethorpes and Skegness, if I’m feeling the strain I’ll just pack me bags and have a day at the beach.”

Frank: “I’m only kidding with you… Only 2 SM bullies I really dislike! PMW and Beddows! Oh and two more who shall remained unnamed.”

Roy: “Frank, can you defend your European Cup?”

Frank: “Is Steven Gerrard destined to lift the FA Cup on May 31^st?”

Clive: “So that’s a yes then!”

The Doctor: “Ok, Roy let’s look at your team now… that’s a great start you have had you must be delighted?”

Roy: “Yeah we started our league campaign going down to Dartford and coming away with a 4-2 victory and then beat Gateshead by 4-1 and also that memorable cup game where we beat QPR 2-1 in front of our delirious fans… a 10/10 star from the lads. 8/10 for your pies though Doc!”

The Doctor: “Thanks for that Roy, I was going to share one of your pre-show private jokes about a French frog but I think it is best left out… we don’t want to upset Jamie Carragher do we? So Clive why did you let you lad do your picks? Does he pick your team too?”

Clive: “As he is only 6 he thinks that Rooney is the best player in the world so naturally I don’t let him pick my teams… but on the day I let him do my pre-season predictions I was at the ‘I love Gino’ convention… I don’t think he saw me though. GUTTED!!! I bought a pic to show you guys though.

Clive at the recent convention

Roy: “Doc, I see you have added 2 new strikers to your side, how are they doing and can they hit 20?

The Doctor: “They are doing really well, Skuletic will score 18 and Munoz will bag 22, I’ve told them if they can hit anymore and alter the future then I’ll buy them a curry up in Manchester, growing super hot chilli peppers is a passion of mine and a good naga curry on the curry mile, Beddows and JV have both said they’d come along too.”

Roy: "Tell us about your new goalkeeper and how Oblak took the news?

Frank: "Great question there Roy, Mattia was to say cock a hoop about joining us is an understatement, he was as happy as that Blackburn player in an under 16's disco... it has always been his dream he (Perrin) said to play in England, whereas he might have preferred Sincil Bank or the Pirelli he is happy at Prenton Park. He wants to win trophies... As for Oblak I haven't the heart to tell him. We have won so much together in 12 months... Division 1 title, Charity Shield and of course the SMFA Champions Cup... pass me that napkin please Chubb."

Roy: "There there Frank it could be worse..."

Frank Hirst seemed to suggest that a Blackburn player liked school discos

Clive: “Talking of Beddows did you see he won the Super Seven last week… donated his 100 SM credits to Comic Relief last night Mrs B told Emile to tell me apparently. How did he get 11 points?”

Frank: “I think he had a chat with the Doctor!”

The Doctor: “I am not allowed to reveal the future to the unseeing but Beddows has sent in his predictions for tonight… just so we know in advance if he is a time traveller…

Queens Park Rangers  1 v West Bromwich Albion 1
Chelsea 3 v West Ham United 1
Crystal Palace 4 v Peterborough United 1
Burnley 1 v Middlesbrough 2
Colchester United 0 v Walsall 1
Oxford United 3 v Exeter City 1
Alfreton Town 2 v Hyde 2

Frank: "Roy I do have one final question for you if that's ok?"

Roy: "Go ahead"

Clive: "Its actually my question.... I was just too shy to ask... Roy your often referred to as Roy "chubby" Brown...how did you inherit this nickname?"

Roy: "Well it all started way back in the day I mean those crowds were tough !! one or two started chanting "you fat bastard, you fat bastard" then before you knew it they we're all singing it ! BASTARDS...so yeah "chubby" kind of stuck after that...

The Doctor: "hopefully they shall be no such chanting here today Roy... that's all folks for todays show as ever I'd like to thank my guests for their input wish them all the best in picking up precious points today. But before we go we have had a request from Kidderminster boss, Reg Robinson who wanted to dedicate the song below to an unnamed Division Five manager."

 

 

 

 

 

Translated