279 Saturday Show (Episode 1)

The Pundits including your host 'The Doctor' sporting his new look

The Doctor: “Welcome everyone to the first ‘279 Saturday Show’ the show for the 279 Managers to discuss 279, the Super Seven and all things SM. I am your host The Doctor and today we have regular WC pundits Ted (Sheff Wed), PMW (Newcastle) and our first special guest Jens (York). Welcome guys. Ted looking forward to tonight?”

PWM: “Yes, Ted big game that Sheffield Derby. Do you expect City rivals United to be relegated?

Ted: “I bloody hope so! I have a hatred for them in real life, and our visit to Bramall Lane tonight, whilst for a small club like them it’s their cup final, it just an ordinary match for us. ”

The Doctor: "As you can all see there are some drinks that I brought back after I time travelled to the Mexico 2015 World Cup final, please help yourselves.

Ted: "Doctor does Razzaque win again tell us?"

The Doctor: "By the laws and time and space I cannot tell you hat happens in the future all I can say that the Mexico 2015 winner will surprise everyone. Jens, great to have you with us. I hope you like our studio and the  How are you?”

Jens: "I'm great thanks. I feel privileged to sit in the chair that Frank was in on Wednesday. Such an honour to follow in the footsteps of great managers and to sit beside them."

PMW: “That you are and you are sat next to the best. So 77% of all the managers nominated you as manager of the season in Division 5 Jens yet it is a picture of Razzaque a fellow former Division 5 manager who sits on the studio wall behind us. How does that make you feel?” 

Jens: “I’m not one for standing in the way of megalomania. He’s a pioneer of voodoo inspired football tactics. You can’t get that anywhere else. A true special talent.”

Ted: “Great answer that Jens. PMW in Division Two we can only watch on and aspire to be as great as Razzaque, Hirst, Augero or yourself… and I cannot help but read that the media are often reporting of a fractious relationship between you and your chairman last season? Is your position tenable?

PMW: “I’d love it, really love it… wait sorry what was the question? Me and Mike? Tenable? Of course he’s a winner and wants to win and loves the French, and I’m sexy and speak French so perfect.”

The Doctor: "My own position is perfectly teneable. Ted back to you? A lot of pundits including Beddows have backed you to go up this season? Can you do it?

Ted: “I try not to pay attention to what others say about us. Obviously it’s flattering to hear such high praise, but we’re keeping our feet on the gound, and the playoffs are the target.”

Jens: “I read in The Burton Mail that Beddows is playing the Murray card again with 2^nd from bottom his target. Doctor are you and Plymouth aiming for somewhere similar but the other end of the table.”

The Doctor: “Last season was an emotional roller coaster comparable to only to Paraguay’s World Cup Adventure or Tranmere’s end of season losing in a Cup Final, finishing 5^th on the last day and then winning the Champions League and to find out the SMFA have allowed him to compete… If only Peterborough had have had their promotion taken away for cheating? Alas. I ponder. So PMW there was that incident that Rickie Lambert reported following a crucial defeat last season regarding Ashley Young? How have you managed to fix that relationship?”

PMW: “Me and Young? Yeah we’re sound, we just let our emotions get the best of us, but Lambert? He can go! Does anyone actually want him though?”

Ted: “Not me. Jens… What about Division Four? Mister Malcolm (Oxford) claimed in his end of season report that Division Four is the easiest to win? Are you confident?

Jens: “If I’m smoking a Cuban by a poolside somewhere in Paraguay surrounded by a bevvie beauties having wrapped up the title 10 games from the end. That’s when it’s a doddle. Until then it’s a game at a time and we’ll see what happens. What about you Doc? Ready to go? Who worries you?”

The Doctor: “Well I think Joe Jordan at Doncaster has a fairly good chance to be honest. And Walsall, Forest Green and Portsmouth but we shall see. Ted, any manager you really want to see fail this season in your division?

Ted: “Possibly my old chap Norman Little himself, starting when we tonk his Blades 7-0 on Saturday. COME ON YOUR OWLS!”

Jens: “Jeez. Calm down mate it’s only a game!”

PMW: “Jens you have the World Cup Final losing manager in your midst in Division 4. Will he have a World Cup hang over or are you tipping Chesterfield to do well?”

Jens: “It’s difficult to see where the paths may take us… but the Chesterfield manager showed his worth in Italy. I dare say he’s got his own Cuban, ready for that ‘special’ occasion.”

The Doctor: “I never had you down as such a philosophical guy Jens, you surprise me. Final question for you my good friend PMW, some newspapers have reported you will adopt a Northern Irish approach to the league this season with Newcastle with a determined “No Surrender” banner been gifted by the club to be displayed at St James’ Park are you not worried about the controversy this may cause?

PMW: “Norn Iron? No there won’t be any controversy there. We’ll take the ‘no surrender’ motto and make it our own, we had a great World Cup and look forward to the next, I hope we qualify as I don’t fancy sitting with those pundits for a full week, they don’t half talk garbage!”
The Doctor: “Has anyone had a go on the Super Seven this week and want to share their predictions?”

Ted: “I had a go… I think I’ll win the weekly 100 SM credit prize to be honest… here we go West Brom (2) Derby (1), Blackburn (2) Leicester (0), Barnsley (0) Palace (3), Boro (2) Wigan (1), Rochdale (1) Forest Green (1), Chesterfield (1) Bristol Rovers (2), Barnet (2) Kidderminster (1)…”

The Doctor: “That’s it now lads for this week. Next week I have decided that despite being good sports I won’t be inviting back Ted, PMW and Jens… maybe in the future!”