279 Saturday Show - Episode 8

The Doctor: “Good Morning guys and welcome to Episode 8 of the 279 Saturday Show, I am your host, The Doctor and today I was unfortunately not allowed to choose the guests… but we have Beddows (Blackburn) Aguero (Liverpool) and the evil Rose (Yeovil) welcome guys.

Beddows: “Thanks Doc”

Rose: “Thanks for having me guys, average show… average guest up until now, but much better today I see. I bought my glove collection along.”

Beddows: “Aguero let’s start with you…  many accuse you of having a split personality not knowing what to do, which tactic to play etc etc… Do you believe your long-term future is at Anfield and more importantly does the club, the fans and the owners buy into your philosophy?”

Aguero: “I believe every manager had up and downs in his career so did I. My experience as a Liverpool coach started really bad’ I admit I had to transit from tactics to tactics to fit the players I had but unfortunately doing so results went against me and media started criticising my formation and tactical abilities. The owners and I had a long discussion prior to appointing me here and with SMFA competition next season being the minimum requirement there a lot of work to be done but they were aware good result won’t come straight away as soon season kicks off. We bought a lot of players and they need time to gel into the new formation. For now my job is safe if that’s what you meant.

Beddows: “Daniel welcome to the show for the first time, what attracted you to Yeovil? Fellow Division 3 manager Razzaque privately told me that it was something to do with your fetish or was it fascination with gloves I can’t remember his exact words? Or was it you collect antique gloves? Which one is it? You surely haven’t moved the whole family down there have you?”

Rose: “First off as intellectual and informative Razzaque maybe the real reason my passion was drawn to the Glovers was for the great 80's flick Lethal Weapon, who doesn't love Danny Glover come on! Sometimes Razzaque struggles to see the wood for the trees in Forest Green!”

Rose's Glover Home

Aguero: “Doctor? Faisal Khalil – 3 goals in 2 games… why hasn’t he been playing more often and more importantly he claims to be 32 and from UAE… Have you checked his credentials?”

The Doctor: “I assure you his credentials are in check , I witnessed the lads birth 400 years ago while on holiday in South Sudan , as for his playing time he is just here for the season I'm afraid so will only be playing a bit part and cup games unless his form gets too good to deny.”

Rose: “Question for Beddows… Germany have announced their squad for their World Cup Qualifier on Friday and Petersen has been dropped and replaced by Leon Gortezka, how do you and Nils feel about this?”

Beddows: “To be frank we are absolutely devastated for Nils. I mean how can you drop a striker who scored 30+ goals last season for a CM! I have told Nils not to worry, if he were Portuguese I would pick him, but it will only be short term as Frank’s international managerial record is shocking in terms of loyalty… Denmark (1 game, failed to get to the World Cup)… Slovenia (quit before even 1 game) Ecuador (failed) Holland (couldn’t cope) Germany… watch this space… Nils will be back in a German shirt one day!”

Aguero: “Doctor, Obviously it is difficult for you have to sit near to Daniel Rose after the Yeovil fans allegedly have made death threats against you earlier this season… Beddows claimed that he saw their ‘assassination squad’ outside. Did you bring your own protection?”

Plymouths Assassination squad

The Doctor: “The Doctor needs no protection other than his quick wit , lightening reactions and the odd hobnob with a nice cup of tea, the Yeovil fans are not a concern of mine , they should focus their attention on their shockingly ugly town , have you seen the state of it ?!?”

Beddows: “Question for Rose… It must be difficult sitting next to such a rival, The Doctor, although he denied it, it was claimed earlier this season that he had David Villa deliberately injured to stunt your progress… and now Jordi Gomez… Are you taking extra precautions with Motta? Is he living and sleeping at Huish Park for example?”

Rose: “The Doctor is one of many rivals in this Game World but the battle for West England domination is hotting up I must say, David Villa was a big acquisition for us and to lose him for that period of time really hampered us and talk on the Blackthorn Terrace of foul play is rife! I think the Doctor and his entourage have some explaining to do don't you??”

The Doctor: “Come here and say that Flower!”

Rose: “How dare you!”

The Doctor: “I dare what I like I am the Doctor!”

Aguero: “Calm down, calm down”

Beddows: “What's with the accent Aguero?”

Aguero: “Too much time in Liverpool I’m afraid… but Doc and Rose lets calm down its only a game… on with the questions…”

The Doctor: “Beddows… Club Captain, Ryan Bertrand has had a very poor season so far…is this the reason you stripped him of the captains armband since the Fulham game? Or is it a more personal issue with the girlfriend of Bertrand? We all know you have form with poor old Mrs Pisano last season.”

Beddows: “SM doesn’t actually realize that Ryan Bertrand is still the captain. Unfortunately it is a bug in the game that has seen the armband passed by accident to another. I don’t believe that Ryan has been performing badly in all fairness and I take offence at any such manager who implies this! As for Mrs Pisano there was never any issue whatsoever.”

Rose: “Aguero… you might not recall but Hirst (Tranmere) and Kinnear (Derby) called your decision last season to sell Gerrard for cash (9.5m) as scandalous… a betrayal of the club and fans, Johnson (West Brom) even claimed it to be the worst transfer decision in the history of Gold 279… Do you stand by your decision?”

Aguero: “Gerrard’s departure was not only my sole decision, the player is a Kop icon. Stevie wanted a pay rise and we just couldn't afford that and in came LA with a better offer, that’s it.”

Aguero sold Gerrard for 9.5m Crazy?

Beddows: “Question for you Doc… Not many people know of these but the other day I was in the Plymouth archives as you do and I came across an article from 1760 which claimed a man matching your description with a big blue box having an affair with Margaret Bingham, Countess of Lucan… how has this gone down with Clara?”

 The Doctor: “Clara is well aware of my past as I am familiar in most peoples, but if you think that Story is interesting you should look up 1888 in Leeds, I’ll leave that up to you and your spies! ”

Aguero:  “Rose, your form has been good this season and you are arguably exceeding expectations as the 279 public predicted a 12^th place finish pre-season. How surprised are you with the side? And how important have Kalas and Coquelin been as loan captures?”

Rose: “Our form has been up and down lately but the 4 wins out of our last 5 have given us real belief in a play off spot, Kalas and Coquelin have been good signings along with Leitner who scored a brace the other night against the Bluenose haha!! Look out for Yeovil v Crewe in the 7's this week could be a coupon buster! Up the Glovers and Up the Danny Glover!! ”

The Doctor: “Beddows, There have been a lot of rumours recently linking you with the Burton Albion, with current Brewers boss, Clive Short being heavily linked with a move to London Road. What do you have to say about these rumours?”

Beddows: “As for Short I am not even sure he knows where London Road is… but yes one day I am destined to go to Burton and become manager, even Dan Rose has told me that Motta told him that even Apollo the Sun God has foreseen it, isn't that right Dan?”

Rose: “100%” 
The Doctor: “Aguero, final question for you… Last season you finished 11^th, the worst performance by a Liverpool side in 279 history… Are you going to improve this season? How is the current battle going? Will it be better or worse than last season?”

Liverpool Boss Aguero Texting Liverpool owners in the USA last season

Aguero: “I agree last season was the worst season I ever had, the reason behind that was the Liverpool first team I had was experienced but lacked some speed which is key in my tactics. Many oldish players (except Terry) could not perform. As you might have noticed only 4 of my current first team managed to keep their place and rest were shipped out which caused a sudden dip in league. As for better or worse than last season i promise for a better finish, unless my team have a worst injury plagued season.”

 The Doctor: “That is all for this morning. I trust we have kept our clients fully entertained and we look forward to seeing you again next week when I will once again not be here due to future commitments.”