Tamworth's new puppet master, Sherief Razzaque, rightfully has managers in the higher Divisions nervously looking over their shoulder.
"I'll say this once. Our home may be called 'The Lamb Ground', but every opponent will discover it is they who are being welcomed to the slaughter.
Blackburn manager Stephen Beddows personally invited me to consult with them on tactics and strategy, at the request of club owners, the Venky brothers.
"Those Turkey barons haven't done much right with the club, but appointing Beddows has been a masterstroke because he's led them back to Div 1."
In the words of the great urban poet-philosopher Drake, 'Started from the bottom, now we here.'
I'm bringing a half-revolution to the club. 180 degrees gets us heading in One Direction, and the first change was to choose a new team anthem.
Queen's "Killer Queen", catchy as it is, has now been replaced with "Bring Ya Daughter, To The Slaughter" by Iron Maiden.
Likewise the playing staff has been revamped.
I've hired scouts Dewey, Screwem and Howe, to scour the world for players of unparalleled skill and questionable morals.
It's part of our plan to "attack with industry and defend with agriculture."
Also joining Razzaque's management team is sports psychologist and dietician, Dr Hannibal Lecter.
He got some bad press, but we had an exhaustive interview over dinner. He's a very cultured professional, and served a healthy meal of liver and fava beans."
Dr Lecter has promised me we'll kill teams off before they so much as take the pitch against us.
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