Saturday, 31 January 2015

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404 Team Not Found

Ladies and Gentleman,

Welcome to the inaugural weekly blog of ‘404 Team Not Found’. Each week I will select a match across the 5 Divisions of England for your reading displeasure.


Yes that is correct, I did say displeasure.  


First let me start with a warning. I do not write for the New York Post. I barely secured a pass in Secondary School English. Hopefully my loose use of the English language does not leave you feeling emasculated or defeminised due to a sense of being existentially raped by words on a screen.

FAQ’s

QUESTION:
What is the purpose of ‘404 Team Not Found’?

ANSWER
To humiliate, mortify, defame, shame and hopefully humble a team into never wanting to be on the receiving end of a lopsided result in a match between two competing managers.

QUESTION
Will the match report be an accurate account of what took place during the match?

ANSWER
Yes, whatever I write is 100% factual. It legitimately happened. If I’m ever questioned about the authenticity then I will sue you.

QUESTION
Is the above true?

ANSWER
I told you not to question me. Consider yourself sued bitch!

The first blog will be published after the next matches take place. In all honestly I hope it aids in building friendly rivalries and is taken with a grain of salt in the manner it is intended.
Let the games Begin!

2 comments:

  1. Fantastic, really looking forward to this festure! Nice one Edward :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. If you question my Chairman, Dear Leader Kim Jong Un, you don't get sued. You get shoe'd. The cement variety. Very tight fitting. Then you go swimming.

    ReplyDelete