Icy Sheikh-up going down in Tamworth

Tamworth FC became embroiled in a war of words with a Saudi cleric, over the icy issue of abominable snowmen.

"One of our players, Elias Yser, is from Saudi Arabia, and his kids were with him when he signed. They had never seen snow and so, as children do, they were playing in it. A member of staff was assigned to mind them while Yser's medical was in progress. He showed them how to make a snowman," said manager Sherief Razzaque.

Alas, that simple action sparked a cold war when a leading cleric, Sheikh Miyup Dawun Ansayeed Wais, declared a fatwa against the building of snowmen, claiming that: we should only create that which does not have a soul, including trees, ships, fruits, buildings and so on.

Razzaque retorted: "If people saw how we played against Barrow, they'd argue we created zero, and showed even less soul. The snowman showed greater mobility and desire on the pitch, ffs! We probably could have used him. What next, will he ban us from reading Harry Potter stories to the club mascots on matchdays?"

Apparently he would, and did. Sheikh Miyup also attacked author J.K. Rowling.

It seems the Sheikh is more inclined towards Disney, the channel on which his syndicated TV show airs in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.

"We'll make sure to play Mickey Mouse football next time, if it please Sheikh Medown, or whatever his name is," joked Razzaque.

Disclaimer: I'm Muslim, but this, and other idiotic 'sheith', needs to be ridiculed, and often.