Iru-Bru Dingdong at Anfield

With the news that Beddows was arriving Razzaque (World Cup Winning Manager) disapparated directly into the Anfield dressing room moments after their crunch match with Everton finished and was stunned by the scene that met him.

Razzaque apparated faster than whenever Ron saw Hermione

All over the changing room were empty and full cans of Irn-Bru as it had appeared that the Liverpool caretaker manager, Brendan Rodgers had rewarded the entire squad as part of their end of season bonus a 24 pack of Irn-Bru each but the players appeared incapable of sharing.

“It was utter chaos” Razzaque reported. “Raheem and Countinho were at loggerheads as to who deserved more… It appeared that Raheem was claiming that he should get more than everyone else…!”

Brendan Rodgers had given everyone Irn-Bru - 24 each but Raheem wanted more

“Zlatan was arguing with Brendan that Irn-Bru is not good enough for him and poor Jordan Henderson was trying to mediate explaining to all that every player had the same amount so it was fair… but Zlatan, Jesus and Terry couldn’t seem to grasp Jordan’s concept… perhaps it was lost in translation!”

Moments later in walked the new man Beddows… Beddows a veteran of 2 and a half 279 seasons, experienced, cultured and a manager who has won things… much more than any of his predecessors at Liverpool!

Everyone went quiet and sat down in their allotted seats, Raheem looked like a naughty school boy.

Beddows then announced that the players failure to beat Everton and as such risk losing out on Europe if Tranmere win the European Cup would be punished with wholesale changes, reading from his notes on parchment due to a lack of paper in Liverpool Beddows read out the terms of his contract which he’d agreed with Liverpool!

He also launched a personal attack on Ronaldo claiming that it was Ronaldo’s fault that Blackburn were relegated and then launched into the Portuguese with a torrent of abuse and revealed in front of all of the players the world’s best kept secret that Ronaldo’s kid is actually John Terry’s.

Beddows then stormed out and demanded that the players be in training at 6am the next day for a debrief and when all players would be told their fate!  

Contract Agreed by Beddows