Don't panic Division 3

Don't panic Division 3

There's always 2nd place to fight for.

The Oxford home guard take the salute.

Capt Manwaring enters from his office .

" Attention " shouts Sgt Wilson as the old timers saluted their commander in chief.

Corporal Jones was a bit late to salute.

"Right then men  we defeated the fourth columists last season"

"HaHa , I think you mean fifth columists sir ", replied Wilson in a slightly sarcastic tone.

"They didn't like it up em sir in Division 4 , they couldn't stand a dose of the cold steel ",  interupted Jones , shaking his bayonet in the direction of Division 3.

"Quite right Corporal Jones, now let's assess the enemy this season, as usual we are surrounded on all sides,  only plucky Uncle Sam and Comrade Stalin to support us "

"Looking down the table Brentford, Bury, Accrington ,Rochdale and MK Dons we can dispatch with a few well aimed shots from the novelty rocket emporium, and they can expect to battle for relegation spots"

"Other teams are tougher but lack the steel of the plucky Tommy,  Watford, Stevenage, Portsmouth , Yeovil , Coventy, Preston and Shrewsbury , may give us a challenge in the first half of the season but Private Sponge has them covered from the Church tower and will pick them off one by one "

"Oh , I don't fancy any shooting from a distance " , said the Reverend who was listening in , "Just get lost , it's my turn for the church hall ",

"Well !!!!!!" said the Reverend , " 

"Bournemouth, Walsall, L Orient and Forest Green have some light armour to support them but Private Walker has offered the Wags a few bars of chocolate , which should keep them satisfied "

"That'll be 10 shillings Capt'n and I've left the nylons for your good lady on your desk " piped up Walker

Manwaring went bright red " Yes , yes very good "

" We're doomed , sir , doomed ",said Frazer ." What if we get any injuries ".

"Now , now none of  that defeatist talk, Frazer, Private Godfrey will leap into action and apply a sponge soaked in cold water and vinegar to any injury "

"Yes , yes that's right , and my sister Dolly has added a bit of lavender for antiseptic purposes ", said Godfrey 

"Now some ill informed individuals believe that Bradford, Rotherham,  Barnsley , Charlton, Crewe, York and Huddersfield will defeat u, however a former West Ham triallist Private Pike , will form the basis of our youth team".

"Can I wear my scarf when I practice , my mum says I have to Uncle Arthur"

"Stupid boy", ,,

Pike sulked for a while.

"Just remember men , we will never surrender "  to be continued