The Doctor's Office: Shaky Start Spells Squad Strengthening

It has been three games for The Good Doctor Fox in G279 and so far Middlesbrough have picked up just one point out of a possible 9.


When Fox took over, Boro were 2/1 to get relegated and things haven't seemed to have picked up as the club have yet to record a victory in 2015. However, Fox has stated that he hasn't been surprised by this start and it will take time and a lot of effort to put things back on track.

"No-one was fit and we have no back up in defence", claimed the new gaffer. "I expected a very tough start, but players are now returning match fit and raring to get things back on track. We have 10 games remaining and want to get as much as possible from each and every game we play now".


With very limited funds, Fox has had to make some sacrifices to the team but he has stated this could be a blessing.

"The squad was very attack heavy and we needed at least another left back as we had one in the entire squad, the previous manager clearly had different tactics in mind but this team is in desperation for a bit of stability at the back before anything else. Sadly this meant having to let a couple of lads move on but in doing so we are delighted to have Vitali Denisov join us and we also have negotiations ongoing for a great young prospect and also a stable midfielder."


With a game plan in mind, Fox has limited time and money to put things into action but there is a silver lining of a 3 point gap above the relegation zone and his old friend, Steven Lowery's AFC Bournemouth. Points are going to be vital and drastic changes are needed if the club want any hope of continuing Division 2 football next season.

All the Right Moves, On and Off the Pitch

It was a right ol' knees up as Tamworth FC welcomed her newest adopted sons, the club's 2014 signings.

"Some people shop the transfer leagues, but we do our talent scouting from a different kind of 'Most Wanted' list," said manager Sherief Razzaque.

Here's hoping the new additions replicate their silky moves on the pitch.

Wiccan Be Heroes

Tamworth FC officials moved swiftly to defuse a situation involving comments attributed to manager Sherief Razzaque following his team's heroic 2-2 draw against Braintree Town.

Razzaque blamed witchcraft for the result, stating that, "The score was 2-2. Two letter Es in Braintree. It's code for Evil Eye. The evidence is irrefutable."

His comment set the Wiccan community offside all over Great Britain, prompting the following short apology moments ago.

"I meant no offence to fans of Wigan. None at all. Please don't send Ben Flower to exact retribution."

EDIT:

This just in: Razzaque says it wasn't witchdraft that was to blame, but demonic forces.

Newcastle supremo Prince Michael William may have supernatural managerial skills at his disposal, a fact made worse by the realisation that he may also be a lawyer.

BACK PAGE - NORTH EAST EDITION

Scoring With Learners

Tamworth maestro Razzaque was seen in Aston Villa's corporate box and moved swiftly to quell rumours of his defection.

"Defection is an ugly word considering we're bankrolled by North Korea. However, there are no misunderstandings in this business. I was at Villa Park, at Paul Lambert's request. He needs all the help he can get in the attacking third."

"Personally, I've never had trouble scoring, and I include my football exploits when I say that," boasted Razzaque.

"In addition to imparting my unparallelled footballing knowledge, an added benefit was that I got to confirm an issue that has vexed me for some time. I asked Villa's owner whether his actual name was Randy Lerner. I mean, who wouldn't want having someone like that around?"

It was at that moment that one of the Tamworth staff reminded Razzaque of the club's newly implemented "Innuendo Policy", prompting Razzaque to end his impromptu pow-wow.

The Violence of the Lambs

Tamworth's new puppet master, Sherief Razzaque, rightfully has managers in the higher Divisions nervously looking over their shoulder. 

"I'll say this once. Our home may be called 'The Lamb Ground', but every opponent will discover it is they who are being welcomed to the slaughter.

Blackburn manager Stephen Beddows personally invited me to consult with them on tactics and strategy, at the request of club owners, the Venky brothers.

"Those Turkey barons haven't done much right with the club, but appointing Beddows has been a masterstroke because he's led them back to Div 1." 

In the words of the great urban poet-philosopher Drake, 'Started from the bottom, now we here.'

I'm bringing a half-revolution to the club. 180 degrees gets us heading in One Direction, and the first change was  to choose a new team anthem.

Queen's "Killer Queen", catchy as it is, has now been replaced with "Bring Ya Daughter, To The Slaughter" by Iron Maiden.

Likewise the playing staff has been revamped.

I've hired scouts Dewey, Screwem and Howe, to scour the world for players of unparalleled skill and questionable morals.

It's part of our plan to "attack with industry and defend with agriculture."

Also joining Razzaque's management team is sports psychologist and dietician, Dr Hannibal Lecter.

He got some bad press, but we had an exhaustive interview over dinner. He's a very cultured professional, and served a healthy meal of liver and fava beans."

Dr Lecter has promised me we'll kill teams off before they so much as take the pitch against us.

Welcome to the first ever England279 Club Focus, in Edition 1 we will be looking at Swansea City and their boss Fred Dodger. Fred has been at the Liberty Stadium since pre-season and currently has them sitting in 14^th place just 11 points off an SMFA shield position, but also just 12 points off safety. It has been an up and down Season for the Swans as they got to the English Shield Final beating title contenders West Ham at the ¼ final stage and then overcoming Cardiff City in a giant all Welsh affair in the semi-final beating the Blue Birds 2-0. The final though, was a different affair as he came up against a very resilient Leeds United led by John Vinnicombe, there wasn’t much to separate between the 2 clubs apart from a couple of Morgan De Sanctis match winning saves as Danny Drinkwater scored the winner to leave Fred’s Swansea City down in the dumps, as was proved with Swansea taking 5 games to get back to winning ways!

We'll start off with a few questions to get to know Swansea City boss Fred Dodger...

Favourite Football Team: Manchester United (since the mid 70’s if anybody is interested) ;)

Favourite Footballer of all Time: Eric Cantona

Favourite Band/Singer: Tough one but probably Jackson Browne

Favourite Film: Tough one again but I’ll go for Alien

Favourite Actor: Matthew McConaughey

Favourite Food: Steak and kidney pudding, chips, mushy peas and gravy. On a foam tray if possible

Favourite Drink: Malt Whiskey

Spouse/Kids: Long term/permanent girlfriend with one daughter

Favourite Joke: Q: What do drummers never say? A: Can we do one of my songs?

Now onto the serious part...

Q.Fred, you are coming to the end of your first season in charge of Swansea City having took over the club in pre-season, how do you feel your first season has gone so far?

A. Hi Frank, it's been an enjoyable season but if I'm honest, results have been a mixed bag. I came in without much money to spend but with a squad good enough to be getting on with. I was hoping to make a few improvements and I've brought in Marcell Jansen. I know he is never got to go up to 91 or anything but I needed a better left back than I had and I think he's safe at 89 for a while. I need to keep an eye on the wage bill too so anybody over 89 becomes a bit of a drain. I took a punt on Lukasz Fabianski, hoping he would rise to 88 or even 89 but unfortunately he only made it to 87 so it seems like I've wasted a bit of money there. The idea was to sell Michael Vorm, who I think will go down soon, to free up some cash and promote Fabianski. Maybe a re-think on the cards there.

Q. You managed to get your side to the final of the English Shield, but lost a very even final to Division 2’s Leeds United, what did that do to your team’s confidence?

A. I think the lads took it quite hard and you maybe question your decisions as a manager. We'd had a great cup run and I really fancied ourselves against Leeds, no disrespect intended. Fair play to them though, I put out my strongest side and Leeds nicked at the death. 

Q. Who do you feel is/are your key players moving forward with Swansea City?

A. I think Kostas Manolas is going to be a star player. I was disappointed, but not totally surprised, to see Gomis drop to 89 recently. I think he still has a big part to play though and may well go up again by next season. Marvin Emnes is one to watch too. Also a special mention for an unsung hero of the squad; Nathan Dyer who has come in and done a great job, mostly playing out of position.

Q. You won 2-1 at home to a very strong Independiente, do u feel you can finish the job in Argentina and bring the Euro Shield back to Wales?

A. That was a great result and a massive boost. I think we can definitely get a result away from home but it won't be easy. As you say, they're a very strong side, probably one of the strongest teams in the competition. If we get through that, I think we'd have a very good chance of at least making the final if we get a decent draw.

I will say though, it's a distraction from the league. Our league form has suffered from our good runs in the domestic and euro shield. I'm not complaining, it's just a fact of life. 

Q. What is your aim for next season?

A. I'd like to strengthen the squad and challenge for at least a top six place. A trophy would great too, after going so close this time. 

That is all for this edition of Club Focus, a big thank you to Fred for a very speedy interview. Look out for the next edition coming to the 279England blog soon.

The Tipping Corner

FrankBet's tipping expert has taken a look at the current odds surrounding promotions and has come up with 4 bet's that he sees value in...

Division 2 Promotion: Nottingham Forest 9/2

Nottingham Forest along with Wolves (if they can make the playoffs) could upset the teams already ahead of them in the league. Wolves have a very strong forward line and if they can start scoring I can see Wolves making the playoffs, but in my experience I find that a good goalkeeper wins you the crucial games when it comes to the playoffs and in Samir Handanovic, Forest have just that. Handanovic has kept 4 clean sheets in his last 7 matches and when it comes down to it I can see him being the difference.

Division 3 Promotion: Plymouth Argyle 6/4

With Bristol City all but having won the Division 3 title, the scrap is on for who is going to finish 2nd in this division. Peterborough currently have the points on the board and with a strike force of Sigthorsson & Babacar, Reynolds will be hoping they can fire Posh to 2nd spot, but a team that has been hitting some real form recently (bar saturday nights 3-0 loss to runaway leaders Bristol City) and only 5 points behind Peterborough are Plymouth Argyle. The Doctor has build a very good squad in his time at Plymouth and the players are really playing for the manager recently as can be seen in the recent TOTW's, I feel there is enough quality to push for that 2nd spot and if they don't make it I can see them at least going up via the playoffs.

Division 4 Promotion: Crewe Alexandra 6/5

Once again, it looks as though Rotherham United should tie up the division 4 title, but a team that has caught my eye recently is Crewe, and with Anatoliy Tymoschuk marshalling that defence (a player that has made TOTW for the past 3 game weeks) I can see his experience helping to push Crewe's promotion chances. I actually expect Crewe to go up automatically with no need of the playoffs.

Division 5 Winners: York City 11/10

Looking at the division 5 table right now, it looks like a 3 horse race between Cambridge United, York City & Stockport County, but only 6 games ago Cambridge had an 11 point advantage over York City, which has been cut right down to 3 points. York manager Heyman has made some brilliant signings for a 5th tier team including the most consistent performers, Delgado, N'Koudou & loanee Julian Green. With only 1 team going up automatically, and the others having to fight it out for just 1 playoff place, this seems to be the most important league to win to start progression up the league tables!

The Rovers News